I Didn't Know They Could Even Do This

Google, I'm very, very disappointed. Do no evil?

A simple Google search of "oil spill" turns up several thousand news results, but the first link, highlighted at the very top of the page, is from BP. "Learn more about how BP is helping," the link's tagline reads.

A spokesman for the company confirmed to ABC News that it had, in fact, bought these search terms to make information on the spill more accessible to the public.

"We have bought search terms on search engines like Google to make it easier for people to find out more about our efforts in the Gulf and make it easier for people to find key links to information on filing claims, reporting oil on the beach and signing up to volunteer," BP spokesman Toby Odone told ABC News.

And in other news,

LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.

The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.

The Onion is truly America's finest news source.

Clarification: A friend just checked on a Google search for "oil spill," and says it's pretty obviously an advertisement. I use AdBlocker Plus with Firefox, and when I did the same search, the ad didn't come up. So to clarify, it's clearly an advertisement, not a ranked page. Okay, Google, that's your bread and butter; I guess I have no grounds to complain.