December Named National Awareness Month

WASHINGTON—In an effort to combat what organizers are calling "our current epidemic of complete and utter obliviousness," the American Foundation for Paying Attention to Things has declared December "National Awareness Month."

The Onion, of course. Often, I get most of the humor from The Onion's headlines, and the article becomes tedious, milking the joke for more than it's worth. Occasionally, the article just gets funnier; I'm pleased to report the latter is the case in this example.

"Lack of coherent thought is usually a sign of being unaware, as is a fleeting attention span, and forgetting what this particular sentence pertains to midway through reading it," said Dr. Howard Sturges, who has treated several hundred cases of acute obliviousness. "If you suspect you have such a disorder, please contact a health professional immediately, or, as you likely know him, the man in the white lab coat with the shiny thing around his neck who has that office with all the chairs and patients inside of it."