The Best of Outcomes

...would be as follows: Obama wins big time. This looks more and more likely with each passing day, but given the last two elections, I'm not complacent.

I have been asked if I think Goopers will blame Palin; I think not. Just as I blame Kerry and Gore for two terms of Bushwackery, I think Conservatives will blame McCain (rightly) for a fumbling, disorganized and unfocused campaign. McCain will not try again in 2012 (just as Kerry did not in this election).

Palin, on the other hand, is an egocentric narcissist. This campaign has probably been the biggest "O" of her life. For a sports star, beauty queen, TV news reader, she has been sucking this up, and she will not want to let it go. She will run for the GOP nomination in four years.

But it has become clear that much of the right is not happy with Palin. I really doubt she could get the post. And she will run independent. The fundamentalist freaks, who have burdened the Republican Party since Reagan, will have their own little toy steering wheel. They can merrily tool down the campaign trail, beeping their little horn, and have a wonderful time.

Conservatism used to stand for some things I can support- such as keeping expenditures down, and balancing the budget. Such as the idea of everyone equal under the eyes of the law. Such as minimizing the government's interference with adults making decisions for themselves. Such as going with tried and true solutions when those look like they'd work best. But my adult life has seen a refutation of every one of these principles. And I blame, first and foremost, the religious right. The idea that God hates everyone who doesn't believe what I believe. The idea that those who Jesus loves, prosper- and by extension, why if someone is prosperous, then Jesus loves 'em. That if God has forgiven you, everyone else should too. The idea that the US was, in its inception, a Christian Nation- no, a Protestant Nation, no a Southern Baptist Nation. Narrow it down, exclude, divide, find more things and people that God hates, hates, hates.

Now don't get me wrong: on most issues, I'm a liberal at heart. I don't expect to outlive my distrust of Republicans, given their history over the last 30 years. I just think Liberalism, and yes, the whole country, would benefit from strong, principled conservatism. I don't think anyone on the planet has benefited from the buffoonery of the last eight years, aside from a few selected members of the administration, oil company execs and stockholders, and Osama bin Laden.

So the best of all possible outcomes would be for Sarah Palin to break off from the conservatives (folks, you might want to consider re-branding at that point- you know, call yourselves the Conservative Party, and mean it). She could call her breakaway the Rapture Party. I think it would be good to remind all the zealots that you really really believe the world is going to end anytime now, and it would be a good time to get right with God. It also means that the fact she knows nothing and can't speak one sentence coherently, is irrelevant. 'Cause, you know, if the world's gonna end, why not elect a complete ditz to be in charge.

The religious right can take their spooky theocratic beliefs, and their spooky beauty queen, plant them behind their steering wheel, and go beep-beep-beeping off down the road.

And the grown-ups can get back to the business of governing.