Hah!

I am extremely frustrated by news on many fronts, from Leiberman and health, to Copenhagen and "climategate," to (as one blogger phrased it yesterday) "Well, that's all very interesting, says the American press, but a famous black man has slept with blondes." I'm still slogging through my news feeds, but it's becoming oppressive... and I really can't say anything beyond "AAAARRRRRGH!" Which isn't very productive, so I'll just say it that once, rather than the 30 or 40 times a day I feel like saying it.

Then there's The Onion... I wish the writers there were as prolific as all the other news sources I inflict on myself, but I'll settle for their quality.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

Yes, please, more like this.