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The following had me in tears, from Not Always Right:
Me: “Welcome, how can I be of assistance?”Patient: “I think my son has Liza Minnelli!”
Me: “Liza Minnelli?”
Patient: “Yes! I think he has Liza Minnelli!”
Me: “Um…how did he contract it?”
Patient: “He ate the raw chicken on the counter! I’m telling you, it’s Liza Minnelli!”
Me: “Oh, you must mean salmonella.”
Patient: “No, I mean Liza Minnelli!”
Me: “Right, then. The doctor will see you now.”
(The doctor sees the patient’s child and tells her that it is salmonella and not Liza Minnelli. On her way out…)
Patient: “I still think it’s called Liza Minnelli.”

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Top ten reasons Obama should reject the Nobel Peace Prize. Click over to CJSD for the other five.
10) Peace sells, but we’re not sure who’s buying, and that goes against our free market principles.
9) Plus, anything given out by Europeans is not worth accepting, except for Western civilization.
8) No real American would accept a Nobel Prize during a time of war. Wait, who did? Kissinger? Son of a bitch.
7) Okay, no real American-born American, like Reagan. Speaking of which, it’s a crime that Ronald Reagan didn’t receive this award for Star Wars, which should have been called Star Peace, what with all the Freedom Lasers shooting down Commie missiles.
6) Besides, accepting the award is exactly what our enemies want…wait, what? The Taliban condemned the award. Hamas too? Wow, this is awkward…uh, socialism!

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1 comment:
I am drinking coffee! great pictures by the way!
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