Apparently, the Pork King of Chicago has fallen on hard times. His house is for sale. (Photo Gallery, too.) At $2.3 million, it's a wee bit out of my bracket. But I'd love for Mia Sarah to help me spoof the realtor, and get a tour. "The Rock King of Corvallis? Well, he's about fifty, fat and balding... and really unkempt... in a dreamy sort of a way."