Palin

Say Who?

OK, I didn't think this was actually permissible under the constitution, but McCain, in a move that has stunned everyone, has tagged British Citizen and ex-Python Michael Palin for his VP spot. AND convinced him to wear women's clothing and campaign around in bars!

(Thanks to American Street for the picture and gag)

I think this says a great deal about McCain's diplomatic skills and his ability to convince others to act against their own interests- the core of Republican campaign strategy.

(psssst...)

Say What?

(sra plin)

Oh. Never mind. As I was saying, McCain has chosen to tag 1 1/2 year veteran Alaska governor and former beauty queen Sarah Palin as his running mate. (Sorry, Michael, that's the breaks. You're probably a terrist synthesizer anyway.)

(Thanks to Sadly No! for the picture and the gag)

Wow! You know, I'll bet if I promise to vote for her and that lumpy guy, she'd sleep with me. Woo Hoo! I'm gonna take the VP POW! Just think about that! Two POW's on the same ticket!

(pssst....)

Go Away! I gotta good fantasy going here.

(ss frtyfr)

SAY WHAT???!! Forty four???!!! Oh man, she's way too young! I thought we were talking about hot sex! You mean she's really going to hold the office? Well, poop. Heck, I'd do her anyway. If she asked nice. But no way am I gonna vote for her.

(oops, forgot to note the source... um, thanks)

Okay, to get serious (if only for a bit), this choice says nothing good about McCain and and his decision-making processes, and it has little to do with Palin.

• McCain wants to show he's a "maverick." Sorry, buddy: to those of us for whom that might have mattered, you blew it in '04 when you stumped for Shrub. It's the last thing you want to demonstrate to your base. Verdict: Fail.
• McCain wants to balance his ticket in terms of positions. Sorry, she's pro-gun, anti-choice, anti-gay... the only issue she may differ on is that she participates in fundamentalist Christian rituals and beliefs instead of just courting and fawning all over them. Verdict: Fail.
• McCain wants a veep who's strengths balance his weaknesses. Sorry, Palin's bachelor's degree was in journalism (I admit that voters, especially those on the right, consistently express great admiration, respect and trust for journalists) She has no experience running a business- unless you count running a fishing boat with her husband. Her political career consists primarily of being mayor for a town of 8000-9000, and a year and a half as governor of a state that's one of the most federally subsidized in the union, awash in oil money (no income tax- imagine all the simplification to her job on that issue alone), with fewer constituents than any of a dozen US mayors (2005 estimates, from here): New York, N.Y., Los Angeles, Calif., Chicago, Ill., Houston,Tex, Philadelphia, Pa., Phoenix, Ariz., San Antonio, Tex., San Diego, Calif., Dallas, Tex., San Jose, Calif., Detroit, Mich., Indianapolis, Ind., Jacksonville, Fla.). Verdict: Fail.
• McCain recognizes that the right is eager to move on from the traditional GOP choices of wealthy, powerful white males. pfft. Phbbbbbtttt! HAHA! AHAHHAHAHHAHHAH-HAHHAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa..... *snk* (gasp) snk-snk-snk.... AAAAAHHAHHAHAHAH- haaaaaa. oh man that hurts.... **sniff** hmph nononno, just move on now..... Really who do you think the Republicans are? That's right: wealthy, powerful white males, their chattel, and those they've managed to convince to act against their own interests. Verdict: Fail.
• McCain recognizes the importance of Alaska as a key battleground state; with this decision he has a lock on those 3 electoral college votes. Heh. Verdict: Fail.
• I could keep going in this vein for quite a while, but here is my realistic best attempt to understand the thinking represented here: McCain doesn't care a whit about what Sarah Palin can do for this country, or to help him perform well in governing it, but he's gambling there are enough women who will vote their gender and enough guys who will vote their testicles that he might pull out a squeeker. Verdict: the jury is still in recess, but likely, Fail.

The fact is, I don't know that much about Palin. What I do know is a mixed bag. A blogger I disagree with pretty fundamentally, but have a great deal of respect for, cued me in on Palin nearly two months ago, so I was probably less surprised than many; I was also not too displeased until I started seeing some of the other reports today on her stands on social issues. Those stands are very much at odds with her Libertarian politics. I honestly think she'd make a better president than McCain (certainly better than Shrub), but as I said to another coffee drinker a few hours ago, given the choice between rabies and dysentery, I'll take dysentery every time. Fortunately, we actually have a choice between rabies and Obama.

But for those guys who are tempted to think with their nuts rather than with their gray matter, I'll leave you with one last image to ponder.

Thanks to Just an Earth-Bound Misfit for the picture, in turn from Rising Hegemon