- It’s not true that Census workers can demand that your landlord let Census workers into your apartment when you are absent, as claimed by a conservative former House member.
- And it’s also not true that the Census Bureau is artificially inflating official employment figures by causing temporary hires to be counted multiple times, as claimed by a newspaper columnist.
And to proactively avert some other misleading "facts" about the census, I offer the following:
- You are not required to provide sexual sevices to Census workers on demand.
- Census workers are not authorized to remove children or belongings from your home.
- Census workers are not expected to take nude photographs of you or other residents in your domicile "for the permanent record."
- You are not required to allow Census workers to take your vehicle for a test drive.
- Census workers will not ask to install cameras in rooms around your dwelling, nor are you encouraged to allow them to do so.
- Finally, Census workers are not creating a visible record of their visit by drawing, in permanent black marker, Hitler mustaches on you and other residents of your home. If someone wearing such a mustache tells you that's what happened to them, it's either Hitler or Glenn Beck. Run.