@BPGlobalPR: BP Cares

I had seen the (mock) Twitter account a few days ago, but this article at the Guardian does a remarkable job of explaining the role of PR in modern life.

You see, big corporations often make a lot of irresponsible decisions because for the most part, they are fuelled by greed. Our job is to step in and engage the public while villains hide out and look for legal loopholes so they can make money again. Here are the simple steps you must take in any PR campaign. We'll use our most recent BP campaign as a case study:

1. Acknowledge the problem without acknowledging specifics. This was our very first tweet:

@BPGlobalPR: We regretfully admit that something has happened off of the Gulf Coast. More to come.

2. Be open about one piece of bad news and no more. You want to appear human, but you don't want to appear like a bunch of idiots. There's another word I'd use there, but I don't think I can. It rhymes with mickleticks.

@BPGlobalPR: Sadly we can no longer certify our oil as Dolphin Safe.

Those are just the first two tips of seven; I also much enjoyed number 6:

6. Be willing to laugh at yourself! After I spilled a salad on my lap, I immediately tweeted about it.

@BPGlobalPR: Eating at a very expensive restaurant and spilled salad dressing on my pants. Not sure how to tackle this.

Others I've enjoyed from the Twitter account include the following

Flying Rand Paul in to consult. Evidently he's an expert at keeping black out of places. #bpcares

If you've ever wanted to take a dump in the ocean, now is your chance. #whynot? #bpcares

What a gorgeous day! The ocean is filled with the most beautiful rainbows! #yourewelcome #bpcares

Our company psychiatrists say now is the time to move onto the last phase of experiencing a tragedy, acceptance mixed with forgetfulness.

Sarah Palin keeps sending us cutesy Evites to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Even we are disturbed. #bpcares #wearebppr

They want to fine us $4,300 for every barrel of oil spilled? Umm, we're not spilling barrels, the oil is going directly into the gulf. DUH

Lots of people blaming this on Bush or Obama. Pph, we wish. The truth is Presidents don't have any control over what we do. #bpcares

The ocean looks just a bit slimmer today. Dressing it in black really did the trick! #bpcares

Also too, that logo pictured up top is available on a tee-shirt; proceeds go to The Gulf Restoration Network.