"The progressive PR firm Murray Hill Inc. has announced that it plans to satirically run for Congress in the Republican primary in Maryland’s 8th congressional district to protest the Supreme Court’s disastrous decision. A press release on its website says that the company wants to “eliminate the middle man” and run for Congress directly, rather than influencing it with corporate dollars."I thought I'd offer up some headlines we can expect to see soon.
- Playboy has announced its upcoming marriage to Victoria's Secret, but insists that rumors the latter company is pregnant are unfounded.
- Time-Warner has reportedly been seen out on the town with Angelina Jolie. Her spokesperson insists that her marriage to Brad Pitt is solid, and in no danger.
- Microsoft Corporation has adopted Haiti. The Island nation will be moved to its new residence offshore of Washington's Olympic Peninsula. The proud parents insist that they will responsibly oversee the residents' adaptation to a drastically changed household (as well as environmental) climate.
- NewsCorp is proud to announce the birth of a bouncy new son, Rushbeck Glennbaugh, at a healthy 8.247 tonnes (18,143.4 pounds). The slightly abashed company refused to disclose the name of the father, but insists that "I made the right decision" in bringing the child to term, and offered to make the same decision for all pregnant women.
- In related news, during the C-section to remove the new child, doctors had the opportunity to examine NewsCorp's enlarged spleen. Doctors were shocked to find that the patient's enlarged spleen was, in fact, the fetus, which was then removed. Hospital press secretaries have said both the parent and spleen are recovering nicely.
- The Gay-Lesbian-Bi community has filed papers of incorporation. These are likely to be held up and undergo careful scrutiny, as many other corporations have filed injunctions against what they see as "a threat to the sanctity of traditional corporations."
Followup: Murray Hill Inc. has a campaign ad out!
Hat Tip to Fran at Ramblings.