Sunday Funnies: Easter Edition!

Because Easter falls on a Sunday this year! Now Easter is a fairly grim holiday, if taken at face value: a religious leader is executed in a particularly horrific manner, then re-emerges from his grave as a zombie three days later... and eventually establishes a nation based on brain-dead "principles" and "values." For example, every life is sacred, as long as you haven't been born yet. After that miraculous event, you're on your own. People who don't look like you or believe what you believe are not fully human, and Jeebus fully approves of killing them... I think this is part of the whole zombie thing. You can't become a zombie if you're still alive.

But the point is, some of these funnies are kind of grim, just like the holiday (and The Addams Family). If your answer to the question, "How far should the Addams Family go?" is "Not too far," use some discretion. I will say, in my own defense, that I've shown the most questionable of these to other coffee drinkers, and all have elicited some laughs. But some have brought out (funny to me) expressions of repugnance and disgust. So when you get to one that makes you cringe, stop there. I'll try to order these from innoucuous to utterly tasteless. You have been warned.

I'll start with the downright silly "Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves." I've never understood the desire to dress up pets, but obviously it's a common compulsion...
(From this post)

Then we have last week's find, This is Why You're Fat, from this post:
Deep-fried Cadbury Eggs!

Like most holdays, Easter is associated with a variety of foods. I remember some lamb cakes (with coconut wool) from my childhood, but aside from the candy, my strongest Easter food association is an exquisite ham. But apparently cakes are a big one for many people. Cake Wrecks... what, you don't know about Cake Wrecks? Oh, have you got a treat in store! Well, that blog has been presenting some hysterical examples of badly conceived and executed cakes for several days now (Followup: Easter cakes, I should have said. Cake Wrecks has been posting hilarious cakes for almost a year- the first blogoversary will be May 20). As always, if the photo itself isn't enough to crack you up, the snarky commentary will reduce you to tears. The comment here is "How about a couple of coiled yellow snakes to get you in the Easter spirit?" And with this one, she remarks, "You know what screams "Easter" to me? A couple of red, white and blue doughnuts. No, really. Look:The Christmas-y red and green ones would have been too much of stretch, though. [nodding] Totally."

Now each of the posts I've linked above has a number of wrecky cakes, but she has done a couple of others that each have their own share of laughs, including one on lambs and one on chicks. And on the regular feature, Sunday Sweets, some truly exquisite examples of artisan cakes will spark your sense of awe instead of your sense of humor. I think today's offerings are among the most impressive I've seen.
You don't want to know how Santa funds his operations. (Savage Chickens)

An explanation for why, even though the zombie raised havoc for weeks after his reanimation, there is no "Gospel According to Jeebus:"

see more pwn and owned pictures

Despite the fact that all holidays have historical baggage associated with them, it seems only the wingnuttiest fundamental christians (I will not dignify them with a capital letter) see Satan in every tiny deviation from some Cliff Notes version of the bibble that only they are privy to...
(From Criggo)

I'm assuming this is photoshopped, but often times such assumptions are very, very tenative... From LoLtheist.

Even Pharyngula got in on the Easter action...
Now I do want to insert some text here, first to note that the next (and last) two "funnies" might be offensive to some... I personally find them very funny in a morbid sort of way, but you might not. Since this is my blog, I decide what goes and what doesn't... I just think it's polite and thoughtful to be aware of, and sensitive to, my guests' sensibilities. That said, I'll preface the next with a joke I've always liked.

A customer walks into an "inspirational" store and browses around for a few minutes. He comes up to the counter with a baseball cap with the initials WWJD blazoned across the front in metallic gold. He asks the clerk, "What does 'WWJD' mean?"

The clerk responds, "It stands for 'What would Jesus do?' It's a reminder that each time you run into a moral quandry, the best way to the Christian answer to the problem is to ask yourself that question."

The customer looks down at the hat for a moment, then looks back at the clerk, and sets the cap down firmly on the counter. As he turns to walk out, he says, "Well, I don't think Jesus would spend 29.95 on a cheesy baseball cap made in China. He couldn't even read it unless he took it off."
(From LoLtheist)

Now this is definitely not one for the kiddies...
...but don't worry, he gets resurrected for next year. It's the miracle of Easter! (From My [confined] Space)