100 Days

in an alternate universe...

Day 1: Having spent the nearly three months between election day and inauguration day being brought up to speed by Dick Cheney on effective concealment strategies for the Bush administration's plethoric dirty secrets and giving Vice President Sarah Palin a crash-course in introduction to government, President McCain does not hit the ground running. He is stunned to find out that the September suspension of his campaign did not magically solve the financial crisis and that the fundamentals of the economy are not strong.

Day 2: President McCain nominates the only Republican willing to accept the position as secretary of the Treasury, whose appointment is fast-tracked through Congress in light of the growing economic crisis.

Day 3: Treasury secretary Ron Paul promptly disbands the department of the Treasury.

Days 4-18: The stock markets crash, precipitating a run on the banks, which in turn hastens the financial collapse. Mass chaos erupts across the country. Vice President Palin blames the economic catastrophe on University of Illinois professor William Ayers and calls for his execution. Texas announces its secession from the union. Chuck Norris is elected president of Texistan.

Day 19: President McCain tries to restore order by giving a televised speech which will later become known as the "My Friends, We're Fucked" debacle.

Day 20: Dick Cheney shoots President McCain in the face.

-Read the rest at The Guardian.

I haven't read any of the articles on Obama's first 100 days. I suppose if you haven't been paying attention for the last 3+ months, now might be a good time to catch up. More or less, I feel like the whole "100 days" meme we feel compelled to play during each new administration is basically an excuse for the media to pat itself on the back and say, "See? We're not completely inummerate."