Trust expiration dates. If not on milk, at least on condoms. #LFMF
Don’t use shampoo when you run out of dishwashing soap. My dishes still taste funny. #LFMF
Surprising your best friend in a dark parking garage = pepper spray in the face. #LFMF
My boss just asked me what I was working on, and I said “Nothing.” #LFMF
A tow away zone means that if you park there, they’re gonna tow your car away. #LFMF
I took my iPhone on Splash Mountain. #LFMF. And if you’re at Splash Mountain, you should look for my iPhone.
Is This Your Hat?
2 years ago