I Used to Like Dodgeball

...when it was a kid's game in elementary school. (about 5 1/2 minutes)

Mike Pence obviously believes it's a game played best by politicians. I spent quite a bit of time looking for a full transcript, but it doesn't appear to be available yet. I intend to go through it carefully and cut this guy to pieces. I don't like attacking people, but this is intolerable. First, science is not- in the long run- about what you want to believe. Second, politics has been described as the science of what's possible. Modern republicans apparently see politics as the science of the impossibly irresponsible. Third, the nursery rhyme is stuck in my head... "POP! goes the weasel word!"

Either the republicans are going to die out as a party, or we are going to die out as a species. It's just that simple.

Is This For Real?

Bruce Lee plays ping-pong... as only Bruce Lee could possibly do it. And I'm not truly convinced even he could do this. But I can't discount the possibility.

Hat tip to BizarroBlog

Grrrooooan!

I just found out that today is "Star Wars Day." Never heard of it before. Took me a moment. "May the fourth be with you..." Argh! No humor label on this one.

Sunday Funnies

So this week's big news, of course, was the swine flu. Kyle sent me this link from BoingBoing.
Dr. Zaius posted an oddly existential picture of our favorite vice presidential ex-candidate reporting on Lots of Dogs......and lots of dogs. I actually didn't recognize the patented SP glassy stare at first; I couldn't think of anything but the Talking Heads song, "Cross-Eyed and Painless."
XKCD points out the dangers inherent in cheap entertainment, and My [confined] Space evokes a quieter, less hectic time, when the pace of life was measured in days or weeks rather than milliseconds. (This was one I actually meant to post a while back that somehow got lost in the... ahem... millisecond bustle of the modern data deluge)
LolScience found a picture of a transcendant kitteh at the moment of its transformation into a being of pure energy... not too much of a leap. Kittehs at this age are pretty much beings of pure energy to begin with.And while we're on the topic of biology, a new result emerged from efforts in recombinant DNA and dinosaur cloning: the goposaurus: a cross between and elephant and an extinct leviathan. It promptly drowned itself in a bathtub. (From The Left Coaster)

Also from the world of skepticism and science, a couple of text pieces that gave me giggles:
I don't believe in astrology. But that's typical for a Libra. From Duhism.
Casual Friday Claims Lives Of 13 Nuclear-Waste-Disposal Technicians. The Onion

This is actually a pretty insightful observation,

but I think the obvious response is that, recognizing themselves as animals, they (the PETA protestors) want to be treated ethically too. (Pundit Kitchen)

see more dog and puppy pictures. I haven't been giving appropriate recognition to our canine friends, so in lieu of LolCats this week, here's some LolDogs. The one above recalls wonderful times with friends in my younger years, laughing so hard I thought I was going to pass out for lack of oxygen.

see more dog and puppy pictures. And the above is funny, but highlights some of my fears about where relationships are headed in the web world.

see more Lol Celebs. And I just loved this one. I may be the only person in North American who hasn't seen The Dark Knight. But I'm old enough to remember the cornyness of the original series... and- sigh- Julie Newmar.

Have a good week at work. Don't run with poin-ted sticks; you don't know who you might hurt (but bananas are OK [obscure Monty python reference alert]).(From Criggo, of course)

Caturday: I'm Comfortable

As I've mentioned before, Ozma was a feral cat before she decided to move in with me a bit over a year ago. She has reluctantly tolerated me picking her up and moving her, but up until a couple of weeks ago she would not tolerate being held. If I insisted on holding her, she was very convincing in her arguments that it was a very bad idea. I'll save the story about how she overcame this reluctance for another time, but over the last couple of weeks, she has decided that my lap is the most comfortable place there is. This can interfere with my computer games. She is particularly fascinated with space battles, and their flying, 'splodey little lights, though in the last few days, I think she has come to understand that they are not moths or other aerial edibles. She doesn't monitor the monitor the way she did at the beginning of the week. She is still learning the nuances of lap occupancy, and has a tendancy to slide into positions that are simply untenable. I have little scabs all over my thighs and arms from her catching herself. For a while I would try to move her back to more sensible positions, but I figure she has to learn sometime. I'm willing to tolerate a few scabs to further her education. This is by far her favorite spot, cradled in my left arm, wedging herself deeper. Below, she has repositioned herself to be on my arm rather than sliding through. Within a few minutes, though, she'll be sliding again. We both has a happy over this recent development.

And to answer Dean's question, Ozma was the Princess of Oz- loving and gentle, wise and tolerant, but not one to cross. Look at that last picture, and tell me that's not an appropriate name.

Soylent Blonde at MPS

A couple of weeks ago, Mock, Paper, Scissors, one of my favorite political satire sites, announced a contest to rename Meghan McCain. A common response to the young McCain is that she appears to be sane, and appears to be willing to speak her mind. For liberals, that is noteworthy and worthy of respect; those characteristics are vanishingly rare amongst today's Republicans.

Her previous nickname had been "Butterball," which carried connotations of affection for Tengrain, but to many readers implied a anti-fat bias. Now I'll leave aside the discussion of whether she looks "fat" or "refreshingly healthy," except to say I come down firmly on the latter side. The fact is, Tengrain wanted to point to her as a Republican worthy of respect, rather than the standard-issue, worthy only of derision. Thus a community brainstorm to come up with a name that didn't hint at pre-judgement. Take a look at the call for ideas- there are some really good ones in the comments.

A couple days later, I was tickled silly to see that my suggestion had made it into the final three! And then last Sunday, Wowee Zowie! I won! And yesterday, my prize arrived:Thass right, dawgs, eat your heart out! I have a one-of-a-kind, autographed by the Master himself, New Math Equation Poster! Tengrain's explanation of this formula bears repeating verbatim:

"Grandpa Walnuts plus a lot of money (C-Word?), squared) minus (the bobble-headed and hate-filled twig figures of the GOP as exemplified by Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham) divided by the mysterious no one-knows-what-it-really-is Soylent Green equals our favorite GOP spokesmodel, the very curvey and pretty heiress and free-thinking Meghan McCain, AKA Soylent Blonde."

The poster is at a bit of an angle to minimize glare from the flash, but you can see a clearer image here.

These Eyes

Darius Whiteplume tagged me a few days back with Splotchy's "Eye meme," wherein one is supposed to post a picture of one's eyes. Here you go:Yes, if you hadn't gathered from my protrait on the side of this blog, I am one of those vanishing creatures, a four-eyes. I've had glasses since fourth grade, and at this point, being conscious without them feels extremely awkward. As I've moved through my forties though, I find myself performing the following move more and more often when I'm trying to read. I think it's unfair that society has decided that this is the time to shrink the font size of everything that has text.

I'm not tagging anyone, but if this sort of thing amuses you, I invite you to play. I bet my pupils are more uneven than yours.

Torture? No. Except...

Krauthammer:

The second exception to the no-torture rule is the extraction of information from a high-value enemy in possession of high-value information likely to save lives. This case lacks the black-and-white clarity of the ticking time bomb scenario. We know less about the length of the fuse or the nature of the next attack. But we do know the danger is great. We know we must act but have no idea where or how -- and we can't know that until we have information. Catch-22.

This is one of the more asinine pieces of conservative "thought" it has ever been my privilege to read. The first exception, of course, is that tired old ticking time bomb chestnut. "Now suppose we were holding a terrorist that we knew had information that would allow us to find and disarm a bomb..." Now suppose I get to make up any far-fetched scenario I want to justify coming to any old conclusion that I have already reached. Has such a ticking time bomb case ever happened? Is it likely to? Would torture be likely to extract the intelligence we need (certainly not from Krauthammer)? Or would we most likely get 24 hours worth of misleading "leads," and devote time and manpower to fishing for red herrings?

The second "exception" quoted at top, can essentially be simplified to "If we think we need more and better information to save people's lives, torture is justifiable." Uh huh. That's right. All the distraction of high-value this and high-value that does not have any meaningful legal definition. It's a judgement call. So if I decide- or believe I have reliable intelligence- that Krauthammer, Limbaugh and Beck are "high-value enemies" with "high-value information" regarding the progress of swine flu going into next fall, I (or more to the point, the POTUS) would, under Krauthammer's logic, not only be permitted to waterboard those three, but morally obligated to do so.

The other particulary obnoxious aspect of this essay is the author's reliance on testimonials of those involved with torture to explain how terribly important, useful and effective it is. Jeffrey Dahmer explains how serial murder and cannibalism can stretch those tight grocery dollars! Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold: senseless massacre leads to world-wide fame! Former Bush officials assure uncertain world, "Torture is effective. Trust us. Really. We've saved, oh, literally zillions of lives. And besides, it's not torture if we don't call it that."

Yeah, let's just call waterboarding something like "Supervised Oxygen Alleviation and Questioning (SOAQ)." Because, really, if you're completely ignorant, and you suspect someone may know something, giving them a good SOAQing might make you feel more intelligent.

Skulls on Mars! OMG!

OK, I've wasted too much time on this post, so I'll try to make it short and sweet... with photos. This story has come across my radar too many times for me to ignore it:
I guess that rock is thought to look like a skull. I was thinking coconut or turd. Which is my point. We are hard wired to recognize patterns, even when they're not there. I see a coconut, someone else sees a skull. In fact, it's a rock. Weathering (particularly in arid and salty environments) can create some very strange forms.
Is this an octopus with it's arms cut off? Or an upside-down mushroom? (hint: it's a rock. pdf alert)
Is this a dragon? or a fossilized pterodactyl? (hint: it's a rock)
Is this a dinosaur skeleton? or a giant sponge? (hint: it's a rock)
Is this a giant worm? or a close up of renaissance neckwear? (hint: it's a rock)

The point is not that these particular rocks are dull and uninteresting. Quite the contrary. First, I don't think there is such a thing as a dull and uninteresting rock if you look closely enough (though repetition can get tedious), and these are particularly interesting in their forms. The point is that we sometimes perceive things that we're not actually seeing: perception requires interpretation. We are not always the best interpreters.

Pictures like the "skull" above have been around since the rovers landed. For a while I participated in an online discussion group, and finally had to quit because it had been entirely taken over by cranks who were literally finding several "skulls" and dozens of "fossils"every day, and the moderator couldn't understand that those of us who wanted to discuss "Serious Science" were offended by the fact that these cranks completely clogged any science discussions with their rants about NASA coverups, Martian Dinosaurs and Birds, and the implications of these "discoveries" for further discoveries of extraterrestrial life.

The most common line of self defense was that "You scientists have been so narrowly trained that you've lost all your imagination and curiosity. You just think you know it all." This from people who want to claim great insight into planetary geology but have never heard of, let alone seen, shatter cones. Now whatever faults and failings I may have, narrowness of training and background knowledge, and a conviction that I know it all, are not among them.

Since I'm tired of being polite, I'll simply respond pre-emptively: if you think a complete lack of knowledge and training in any subject gives you particular insight and credibility in that subject, you are a complete idiot, and should consider quitting your career to become a talk show host.