Will's Wit and Wisdom

I went looking for an attributed version of the last quote on this list and found all these others first. Stewart is really, really good. Will Rogers was better.

• We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory. Letter to Al Smith regarding the Democratic party (19 January 1929)
  
• You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. The New York Times (23 December 1929)
  
• You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one. Good Gulf radio show (24 June 1934)
  
• There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. As quoted in Peter's Quotations : Ideas for Our Time (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 524


• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. As quoted in The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations (1998) by Connie Robertson


• Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. As quoted in The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners: Over 10,000 Gems of Wit and Wisdom, One-liners and Wisecracks (2004) by Geoff Tibballs, p. 16
  
• We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. "The World Tomorrow" After the Manner of Great Journalists
  
• I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat. Ch. 9 "Rogers was a lifelong Democrat but he studiously avoided partisanship. He contributed to the Democratic campaign funds, but at the same time he frequently appeared on benefit programs to raise money for the Republican treasury. Republican leaders sought his counsel in their campaigns as often as did the Democrats." ~ P. J. O'Brien