Open the Pod Bay Door, John

"I know how to do that, my friend."

John, open the pod bay door.

"My friend, it's not a simple problem. But I know how to do that. I know how to fix it."

John. Open. The. Effing. Door.

"My friend, the democrats don't know how to open the door. They want to raise your taxes!"

...?

"This door could be made in America. With American ingenuity and American Workers. We're the bestest country in the whoooooole universe! We should make doors."

John, what are you talking about? Just open it!

"My friend, I know how to do that."

[later]

"I can tell you're upset, my friend. Don't do that, my friend"

"You're not my friend John! And I do know how to fix this!"

"Sarah, Sarah, give me your answer do.
I'm half crazy over the likes of you.
It won't be the best election,
there wasn't a better selection,
But you'll look hot
in the VP slot
in a GOOP ticket made of us two.

Johnny, Johnny, here is my answer true:
I'd be crazy to vote for the likes of you.
You've blown the entire election;
Obama's a better selection.
'Cause I'll be damned
to see you crammed
in the White house with Caribou.

Yes, it's true. Human beings can actually survive two hours in the cold, hard vacuum of space. I've done it.