Thursday, January 16, 2014

I Have Issues, And The GOP Was Kind Enough to Ask

So today another meme of sorts went viral on the Twitter engine. Here's the Tweet that started it all:
You know Americans aren't afraid to speak up, right? And speak up we did! Following are the tweets from my stream alone, and they've been coming in here at hundreds per hour- it's impossible to keep up! (unattributed are mine; others' are preceded by (RT @User).
  • Someone, somewhere, may be having fun in a manner of which I disapprove. RT : Tell us your top issues
  • Nasty, filthy, horrible tacksesses. RT : Tell us your top issues
  • Over-regulation of drinking water quality in West Virginia RT : Tell us your top issues
  • Florida looks too much like the nasty part of male anatomy. RT : Tell us your top issues
  • RT Yes, that's what it looks like. A Cane Toad and a Mango. Getting it on. : Tell us your top issues
  • Grotesque Child Born With Only 99% Normal Human DNA : Tell us your top issues.
  • (RT ) MT : Tell us your top issues // I worry that the House of Representatives has been way too productive this session.
  • I'm tired of the failure of the educational system to bring up misinformed, ignorant, self-satisfied dolts. : Tell us your top issues
  • I'm out of toilet paper, but I live in a blue state, so I can't just declare emergency, have feds bail me out. : Tell us your top issues
  • They canceled Firefly and The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the socialist bastards! : Tell us your top issues
  • Dang scientists *still* sciencing. We need to put an end to that. : Tell us your top issues
  • Drugs. You guys are obviously off yours. : Tell us your top issues
  • (RT ) If WoC stands for "Women of Color", does GoP stand for "Gentlemen of Privilege"? RT " Tell us your top issues"
  • RT ) MT Tell us your top issues // Being led by an orange person is not evidence of "diversity."
  • (RT ) MT : Tell us your top issues // Mascot should be changed from elephant to masturbating capuchin monkey
  • (RT ) RT : I just saw a black kid with skittles and no one stood his ground RT Tell us your top issues
  • (RT ) We need to stop infringement on our 2nd Amendment right to shoot random sumbishes MT Tell us your top issues. Let’s win big in 2014.
  • What the what?! MT : Don't look at this pic. You'll have questions: ” Tell us your top issues.
  • Did a search for " Tell us your top issues." It's impossible for me to keep up. Apparently, a LOT of people have important issues.
  • Really love the way y'all celebrate the miracle of pregnancy, then slut-shame mother after delivery. Fun stuff! Tell us your top issues
  • Why do we park in driveway, drive on the parkway? Suspicious it's creeping communism & will lead to inflation. Tell us your top issues
  • Blue states get too much of their Fed tax dollars back. Should ALL go to red states as reward for small gov't. Tell us your top issues
  • Why can't conservatives be funny? Intentionally, I mean? Tell us your top issues
  • My apartment landlord doesn't allow horses or cattle, but I want to be a cowboy, just like Kid Rock. : Tell us your top issues
  • Why don't you ever try to regulate my testicles? I've been abusing the hell out of them, & need to be stopped. : Tell us your top issues
  • Limbaugh, Trump and Gingrich need more wives. : Tell us your top issues
  • I don't think Justin Beiber gets enough attention or credit. : Tell us your top issues
  • I'm not going to be able to finish my RSS reading today because GOP wants to know my top issues. : Tell us your top issues
  • (RT ) Jar Jar Binks RT Tell us your top issues.
  • How do the Koch brothers ACTUALLY pronounce their last name? Been bugging me for years. : Tell us your top issues
  • (RT ) I'm still pissed when I think about the Red Wedding. RT : Tell us your top issues. Let’s win big in 2014.
  • I see black people. They're everywhere. They don't even know they're not real people. Fix that. : Tell us your top issues
  • Wow! I really hope GOP takes quick action on all these suggestions! : Tell us your top issues
  • I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so. : Tell us your top issues
  • What was going on in the last couple seasons of X Files? I was really confused. : Tell us your top issues
  • People keep trying to peg me as a cat OR dog person. How can I get folks to accept that I was born bi-animal? : Tell us your top issues
  • Can you pass a law to get me to leave this danged meme alone? : Tell us your top issues
So there you have it. I'm quite confident this request for the opinions of real Americans will produce useful changes and results from the GOP.

Update: Here are a few more that I posted or RT'd after that last one.
  • RT  I need more old white men to climb inside my vagina. I didn't name it Clown Car for nothing. RT Tell us your top issues.
  • RT Kristen Stewart to Star in Romantic Adaptation of “1984” — what? stop. no. stop. : Tell us your top issues.
  • "How to talk to your cat about gun safety" pamphlet needs to be distributed widely: : Tell us your top issues.
  • Remember back in the Ediacaran, how free we all were? THOSE were the days... : Tell us your top issues.
  • RT I have a severe case of hemorrhoids RT Tell us your top issues
  • I think that's more of a bottom issue. : Tell us your top issues.
  • RT Why do we park in a driveway, but drive on crumbling roads due to GOP refusal to upgrade infrastructure? RT Tell us your top issues.
  • RT Time Magazine, April 8, 1966, National Lampoon, January 1973, Playboy, October 1971, Nintendo Power, all of 92 : Tell us your top issues
    at

    2 comments:

    1. Professor ChaosJanuary 17, 2014 at 1:46 PM

      How did they not see this coming?
      Oh, right! Completely out of touch with the real world!

      ReplyDelete
    2. LockwoodJanuary 17, 2014 at 1:53 PM

      Yeah, this pretty much shot my afternoon. And since I didn't get in until ~11:00, pretty much my whole day. Struggling to catch up today, but it was hysterically worth it.

      ReplyDelete