How The Internet Works

It's very, very silly. That's fundamentally what you need to know. The back story is that a female representative in the Michigan House was banned from speaking on the floor yesterday after using the word "vagina" in criticizing and opposing a particularly nasty piece of legislative work that would tremendously restrict women's ability to make their own choices regarding reproductive health. Now the way the internet works, is that this is an opportunity to engage in relentless mockery of the Michigan House conservatives... in particular, by gratuitous overuse of the word "vagina." There were a number of very good zingers and funny lines. I especially enjoyed a short bit from the Portland Mercury: Vagina is the new Voldemort, along with this picture:

RT @portlandmercury "In Michigan, you can't say "vagina" anymore. Good thing this is Oregon. Vagina vagina vagina vagina vagina and vagina!" 

Finally, a meme/game emerged, which on twitter is often signified with a hashtag, like so:

#VaginaMovieLines

Partly to archive these for myself, and partly to share with others who for whatever reason aren't on twitter, the following were my contributions to this meme, along with the ones I retweeted.

• "Follow the vagina....Just follow the vagina."
• - "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no vagina left." - "Yes I have." - "Look!" - "Just a flesh wound."
• "Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?" "These go to vagina."
• "You keep using that Vagina. I do not think it means what you think it means."
• "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my vagina. Prepare to die!"
• - "Hey, Houston, we've had a vagina here." - "Say again, please?" - "Ah, Houston, we've had a vagina."
• "The first rule of vagina is you do not talk about vagina. The second rule of vagina is you do not talk about vagina."
• "You make me want to be a better vagina"
• "They may take our lives, but they will never take our vagina."
• "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a vagina."
• "One does not simply walk into vagina."
• "Vaginas? Where we're going, we don't need vaginas."
• "Show me the vagina!"
• "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little vagina too!"
• "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your vaginas extraordinary."
• "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former vagina, now, about to become the Masters champion."
• "A vagina. Shaken, not stirred."
• "Open the vagina bay doors, HAL."
• RT ‏@drskyskull: "Is this going to be a stand-up fight, or another vagina hunt?"
• "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the Vagina Room!"
• RT @dvnix: "I am a Vagina on the Wind; watch how I soar…"
• RT @blakestacey: "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of vagina?"
• "Vagina, for lack of a better word, is good."
• "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice vagina."
• "I'm going to make him a vagina he can't refuse."
• RT ‏@drskyskull: "You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the vagina goes."
• "Bond. Vagina Bond."
• "Have you ever been mistaken for a vagina?" "No. Have you?"
• Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up with current events, but we just got our vaginas kicked pal!
• "I feel a great disturbance in the vagina."
• RT @drskyskull: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a vagina is approximately 3,720 to 1."
• (My reply:) "Never tell me the vagina!"
• Via @CaldenWloka "I'm taking us closer to one of the big vaginas..."
• Followup from @CaldenWloka "Weirdly, I think it would probably be possible to do the whole movie this way and still have it intelligible."
• RT ‏@GynoStar: Of all the vaginas, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.
• "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a vagina."
• RT @phive0phor: "We're off to see the Wizard. Maybe he can get you a vagina."
• "Vagina!? You can't handle the vagina!"
• "Vagina. Definitely vagina."
• "Paint me like one of your vaginas."
• "Back off man, I'm a vagina."
• "Apparently she saw a vagina once."
• "I coulda been a vagina!"
• "I'm as mad as vagina, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Having spent a good part of the day mocking the MI GOP, I think that last one is a dandy quitting place. Because vaginas everywhere *should* be mad as hell, and they *shouldn't* have to put up with such BS.

Followup: Lisa Brown, the Michigan Representative, has some choice words about the incident that are well-worth reading, among them, "Shouldn't we be able to discuss body parts if we're going to pass laws about them? Am I really to believe that my opposition is undone at the mere mention of a woman's anatomy?"