Outside The Interzone: Sunday Funnies

Obviously, we have to start here:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures I know I'm in a small minority here, but I can't stand Attenborough. He gets great work out of his crews, but his breathless voice-overs drive me nuts.

*sigh...* They never do. Criggo

Criggo

EpicPonyz

...and they're both ignoring you. Via The Daily What

(Grocery Store | Bethesda, MD, USA)

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”

Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”

Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”

Not Always Right

...and they're stuck with careers as editors writing headlines. Probably Bad News

Jen at Cake Wrecks found some dull group that celebrated the new year with 2%, as well as other (albeit, delicious I'm sure) horrifying cakes.

Epic Win Somewhere, WallE is heartbroken.

Tree Lobsters

Skull Swap

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Darius Whiteplume's Tumblr

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...and started on her third! Criggo

Oddly Specific

see more Engrish (Posted with the title "You're not even trying.")

Medical mathematics is actually legal in Oregon and a number of other states. Skull Swap

"Must’ve Had An Allergic Reaction," from That Will Buff Out

Oddly Specific

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Adventures in Nerdliness

While recognising that College societies may sometimes stray beyond their official raisons d’etre to pursue a wider range of interests, we were incorrect to report in our last issue that the Literary Society was hosting a “Boob Club” (What’s on this coming fortnight, page 9, October 14). They had, of course, settled for a Book Club. Link

Regret the Error

Darius Whiteplume's Tumblr

Criggo

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Five Second Rule: the details. Via The Daily What

Oddly Specific

Probably Bad News I totally voted "yes" on both of those questions.

Epic Win

I could make a good argument, though, that it is brain science. Skull Swap

Joy of Tech

Oddly Specific

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Pharyngula

TYWKIWDBI

EpicPonyz

The modern American Dream. Ugliest Tattoos

God Hates Protesters

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

Steven Wright, from Quotes of the Day.

Skull Swap

Abstruse Goose

Acting Like Animals

Darius Whiteplume's Tumblr

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As Iris points out, that's not really a strong selling point. Oddly Specific

Lovely Listing... see below for the caption, which is what killed me.

Sunken Kitchen:

Why don’t I have this? WHY DON’T I HAVE THIS? You eat a snack in front of the TV, you put your plate on the floor, you grab your shuffleboard paddle and give the dish a good THWACK and it goes WHEE right into the sink. Ten points!
This also works for curling, but then you have to get your spouse (or date or pet or child or UPS guy) to work as the sweeper.

The Saturday Bulletin- A couple of obscure jokes. "Thylacine" is the scientific name of the Tasmanian Wolf, which went extinct around the beginning of the 1900's; Larry Niven is an award-winning sci-fi author, who, like Asimov, typically has two or three different characters playing dozens of different roles.

Luke Surl

Sticky Comics

That would be bad. Autocomplete Me

Engrish Funny. The grammar and word choice is actually pretty good... it's the emphasis that's kind of odd:

Oh!! Danger zone Hokkaido
Higuma is dunging everywhere in HOKKAIDO.
We all love Hokkaido Bears.
I am Hokkaido Poo-Poo Bear.
I was born in the north snowy part of Hokkaido.
I am more than 2m tall and weight more that 300kg.
I am the biggest living animal in Hokkaido and I am also famous for being
able to to drop the biggest dung anytime, anywhere.
My body is huge as well as my excrement.
However, I can run fast and I am good at catching salmon.
I am the strongest animal in Japan.
I warn you. Beware of big round, brown heaps when you visit Hokkaido!

Ugliest Tattoos

Joy of Tech

Chuck and Beans, at Shoebox

xkcd

Blackadder

Oddly Specific

Probably Bad News... not quite escape velocity, but about half way there.

Dan Piraro celebrated 25 years of Bizarro this week. The above is one I hadn't seen before, which he entitled "Rednecks Tampering with Physics." It was hard to choose just one from the comics in the anniversary post; I encourage you to go over and drop him a nice comment. Also, check out the very first comic he ever published. This would fix the financial industry.

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"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

Mark Twain, Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2, 1887, from Quote of the Day. This is at least true in US politics.

Noise to Signal- Rob left out the shoe and underpants checkpoint.

Pallet Town, England, 1831 - A young naturalist named Charles Darwin sets sail on a five year voyage of discovery to lands great and unknown. Always a keen observer and ardent collector, Darwin delighted at the strange, wonderful, and pugnacious creatures he discovered. As his collections grew, he noticed that certain creatures bore marked similarities to certain others, and he began wondering how such new creatures came into existence.

Upon his return, Darwin spent decades writing, researching, and collecting; expanding his ideas into a theory which he finally presented to the Cerulean Zoological Society and published in the momentous and influential manuscript: On the Origin of Species of Small Fighting Monster by Means of Repeated Combat, or the Acquisition of Novel Forms in the Struggle to Collect them All.

Threadless, via The Daily What, via Superpunch