Actually, No, Jonah

Jonah Goldberg (to whom some refer as "doughy pantsload") is not a pundit I've spent much time reading. In fact, I don't believe I've ever read an entire column of his before, just excerpts in other people's blogs. But I came across the headline, "Dear Sarah Palin, You're Blowing It," in OregonLive a moment ago and decided to plow into it.

Some hated you out of the fear that you might stop Barack Obama's unfolding coronation. Others because you seemed to expose the snobbery, arrogance and ideological pieties of elite feminism. Your beauty, your status as a working mom, your blue-collar husband, your bravery in taking on the political establishment in Alaska, your proud status as a pro-lifer and mother of a special-needs child: All of these things were -- and are -- deeply threatening to a secular left-wing cultural elite.

Well, actually, no, Jonah. Speaking for myself, first off, I don't hate Sarah Palin. I was ready to welcome a voice of sanity and intelligence from a prominant republican... it has been such a long, long time since I've heard one. It's just that she didn't have either of the qualities I've been longing for in an opposition party member.

Second, I think it's odd that the first characteristic you choose to note as "threatening" to "a secular left-wing cultural elite" such as myself is "beauty." I'm a big fan of beautiful women. I do try not to stare and drool too much. (hint: they really appreciate that, and it's much easier to befriend them. You should try it out sometime... just sayin') I don't view them as a "threat" so much as a "treat."

Third, since when did conservatives have a corner on working moms and blue-collar husbands? Have you read anything since, say, 1890? Just askin' here.

Fourth, I'll give you her "bravery in taking on the political establishment" simply because I don't know what you're talking about. I have no counter-argument; from my reading, she's a narcissistic temper bomb who will stop at nothing to aggrandize and enrich herself and her family on the taxpayer's dime. I would expect such a person to take on the political establishment.

Fifth, I have no problem with her "proud status as a pro-lifer." That's her choice. I just wish she could understand that other people in other circumstances have a right to their choice as well.

Sixth... yeah, I gotta give you this one too. Mothers of special-needs children just make me piss my britches, even when- no, especially when- they don't have the kid with them. It's something about the way they smell, you know. Every now and then, a complete stranger will be walking by, and I'll just spontaneously emit this window-shattering shriek of terror, wet my pants, and sprint away like a rocket. It will only be a little later when I recover from my panic that I realize, "Oh, yeah; that must have been the mother of a special needs child."

So in summary, the qualities you list have nothing to do with the reasons I see Palin as a very serious threat. Say wut? Well, yes, you did nail this one too:

Second, peddling a few platitudes and truisms about free markets and limited government is no substitute for really knowing what you're talking about. Yes, you can talk well about the stuff you know -- oil drilling, energy, etc. -- but beyond your comfort zone, you fall back on bumper-sticker language that sounds fine to the people who already agree with you but is useless in winning over skeptics.

Yeah, there's that... noting in passing that she knows nothing about oil drilling or energy, I'd really like poitical aspirants to know something about something. Anything, really. I'd also like them to understand that charging fees for access or rights to state-controlled resources, then distributing the revenues or benefits derived from those fees to citizens of the state, is, you know, socialism.

No more Goldberg columns for me... I'll settle for excerpts in other's blogs from now on. They've done just fine up to now.