Sunday Funnies

The weather has been beautiful the last few days: warm but not too hot, sunny and breezy, and clear as a bell. And you know what they say: "On a clear day you can pee see forever." I think the view would be better for urinating females than males; most of the time it would make no difference.

see more WTF Pictures and WTF videos by Picture Is Unrelated) This is the kind of thing that can spawn some very prolonged speculation... what the dickens is the story here? Of course, most of you actually have lives. Speaking of which, how's your day going?
(At the risk of being obvious, note the height of the bridge. Then note the height of the truck's cargo. From Weather Moose) If the above was a scene from an old batman show...

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...the next few frames would have a splash graphic like this:From Dark Roasted Blend. This is an interesting one: it only seems to be moving when your eyes are moving. If you stare at a fixed point for a few seconds, it seems to stop wavering. The cat below is from the same post at DRB:
The following cat was either too rehydrated, or it was riding in the convertible above...(I Can Has Cheezburger) Turning to the news, a great deal has happened this week. I think celebrity mortality gets way, way, way over-reported, but that's the nature of the culture I inhabit; I try not to complain too much. With respect to Billie Mays, I would have settled for a laryngectomy. As I commented elsewhere a little while ago, he and his ilk are the reason I really can't watch television anymore. That said, I'll bet none of these folks will have as awesome a tombstone as Mel Blanc:
From Tombstone Funnies, a blog of (you guessed it) pictures of funny tombstones. Here's another (which has actually been around for a decade or so):Of course, when our minds are captured by thoughts of mortality, can thoughts of zombies be far behind? Not for Obama...(From Library Grape) Obama has mastered the arcane talent of not thinking about zombies by instead focussing his mind on Abe Vigoda...(Medium Large) ...or Phil Spector.

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In other news, we mustn't forget about the Siege of the Totally Legal and Completely Legitimate Government of Iran:

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The above lends a certain degree of credibility to Rob Cottingham's take at Noise to Signal...
A couple of editorial cartoons from OregonLive also struck me as offering funny yet thoughtful takes on the situation...
And here's a revolutionary who has not been participating in all the twittering:From B3TA Board, via buzzfeed.

Now all fuss over Iran sort of overlooks (or allows us to forget) that we (umm, how to put this politely...) have some issues that we really need to be taking care of.
see more Political Pictures. Now obviously, I don't want to sound all revolutionary and stuff. I'm sure they're noticing what this aging sociocommunofacist hippie is looking at...
From ImageR.CC. But I do think it's fair to ask, in the face of the procedeing disembowelment of health care, ignoring a whole lot of civil rights issues, including gay rights, continuing Bush-era attitudes towards prisoners from the "War on Terror," and many others (this is supposed to be funny... don't get me started on climate change), "Is there any separation of business and state anymore?Another from Noise to Signal. And in fairness, there really is an enormous difference: Modern corporations are trying to capture maximum profits, but unlike most other parasites in the natural world, have not adapted to the fact that it is dangerous for them to kill off their target prey. In contrast, the government is opposed to trying to do anything. The Republicans are on top, below, but we're all getting screwed.

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Speaking of sex, I laughed my lungs empty at this one from XKCD:
And I'm bettin' this big boy can pick up a date in seconds with that trick.
From Ugly Overload- crazy animal pictures; not necessarily funny, but the above cracked me up. Now my own approach is similar to the conclusion reached in the following XKCD cartoon... if you don't get it, go watch "War Games" again:But I'm very aware that it's a fundamental biological drive necessary for the survival of most multi-cellular organism, and not one that's easily denied. Some people just don't get it...(From Criggo. Newspapers are disappearing. That's too bad)

...and some people do, but want to make sure no one else does:
see more Political Pictures I can't reproduce it here and do it justice, but if you, like me, are starting to have trouble keeping all the political sex follies straight, Mock, Paper Scissors published a most excellent flow chart a few days ago to help us figure out which scandal is which. Unfortunately, it was apparently finished before Sanford got back from his Argentinian assignation. Nevertheless, it is clear, accurate and very funny, and Sanford can easily be added later.

Now apparently this deep concern with what others do with various portions of their respective anatomies is rooted in trying to live up to the standards of one very uptight and unhip dude:(From Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal) And in return for living up to this guy's standards, he performs miracles for us... just like David Copperfield.(another from Criggo) So I guess we can assume Chad hasn't done anything on the disapproved list. Yet. However, there's some suspicion that the dude in question, like Ensign and Sanford and all the others (and it's a big list), is not capable of living up to the standards that he demands of others. (The following is titled "No church this Sunday.")(And yet another from Criggo) People will do the damndest things to make themselves more appealing to their partners of choice...Another from Mock, Paper, Scissors. Why do you think R2D2 was cussing through the entire original Star Wars trilogy? Did he ever once get a chance to hook up and unwind?
see more Lol Celebs. Some people are even willing to shell out what seems to me as an absurd amount of money for a few minutes of pleasure with a complete stranger (eliot spitzer). Maybe there's some discount programs, or coupons or something that could make it a little less of a bank loan situation...
(Last one from Criggo today. Promise) The same drive can lead us to commit terrible acts of violence, as evidenced by this kitty who thought his kitty friend was cheating...

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So summing up, here's the deal: We're born because two people have sex. We are intriniscally and biologically driven to repeat that comedy. Then we die. The purpose of life is more life... and while it's not logical, it's nevertheless true. So I predict during the next week more people will be born, and more people will try to have sex- many of whom will make complete and utter fools of themselves in the attempt, and probably a few of whom will actually succeed. And more people will die- maybe not as well known as our losses this week, but I'm willing to bet some will.

Because, however silly the whole process may sound when I lay it out like this, unless you're made of material the earth and biosphere haven't learned how to reuse yet......you're stuck with it. That's Life! (From Indexed) So after good nutricious food...Flapjack Fiasco from This is Why You're Fat... "Layers from bottom to top: pancake; cookie dough; pancake; peanut butter and jelly; pancake; chocolate and bananas; pancake; caramel, oreo, marshmallow, sprinkles, M&M’s; pancake; caramel buttercream frosting granished with Trix cereal."

...actually, try to get the real food in before desert...
Dorm Food Casserole from This is Why You're Fat... "Bottom to top: stuffing, ramen, ground beef, shredded cheese, mac and cheese, ramen, shredded cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, shredded cheese, bread crumbs, all topped with sliced onions and pound of bacon."

(Pass the ketchup; I hate to admit it, but that last one looks good)

...you, and I and everyone else will commit laughable actions in service to undeniable drives.

Which is not to say we can't develop some wisdom about the whole situation:

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

See? There's an example right there. From E.B. Misfit.

Have a good week at work. I hope your employer is as concerned about your health and safety as the one who posted the sign below.

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See you in the Funnies!